Foster child behaviour management strategies

As a foster parent, you always want to meet your foster child with empathy and understanding. But there may be times where you find aspects of their behaviour challenging. So, we’ve outlined four key positive behavioural management strategies to help you become the best foster parent you can be.

Whether you’re already caring for a child or thinking about fostering, this guide will help you understand and manage challenging behaviour with confidence.

Causes of challenging behaviour in foster children

Before diving into our behavioural tips and techniques, it’s important to discuss why your foster child may be displaying complex or distressing behaviours. From struggling with overwhelming emotions to processing prior experiences, their life before foster care can inform a lot of their decisions. In some cases, this can manifest into challenging behaviours like:

• Being rude or aggressive
• Causing arguments
• Being destructive
• Attempting to run away
• Attempting to harm themselves

However, as their foster parent, it’s important to remember these actions are often in response to a trigger. Common triggers of challenging behaviour include:

• Experiencing pain or feeling unwell
• Experiencing negative emotions like sadness, frustration, loneliness, depression and anxiety
• Feeling overlooked or unnoticed
• Feeling bored or under stimulated
• Feeling misunderstood
• Feeling scared or fearful

Understanding these triggers can help you navigate these scenarios with compassion and confidence. So, if you suspect your foster child is experiencing any of these triggers, you must discuss this with your social worker and support team. They can help to provide context and tailor your behaviour management techniques to the child in your care.

Positive behaviour management strategies

If your foster child is showing signs of poor or challenging behaviour, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and rules. They may not have been exposed to positive behaviour strategies before, so it may take a while for them to adapt, but eventually, they will come to understand these new expectations and feel more secure within them. Some of the most common ways of managing challenging behaviour includes:

1. Clear house rules for the whole family

For a foster child entering a new environment, they may not know or understand which rules are already in place. That’s why it’s your job as their foster carer to calmly explain the house rules to them, whilst ensuring the whole family are abiding by the same rules. If foster children in your care feel they are receiving different treatment to children already in the home, they may feel excluded and begin to act out.

It’s also important to ensure that you and your partner, if you have one, are always on the same page when it comes to instilling the rules. If one of you wavers on a decision, it can cause inconsistencies across the positive behaviour strategies you’ve been working on, which may lead foster children to revert to previous behaviours or challenge contradictions.

2. Outline your expectations

To apply behaviour management techniques successfully, you must outline your expectations. This could be something as simple as asking your foster child to keep their bedroom tidy or to help out with 3 household jobs in the week. Setting your expectations can give foster children a sense of purpose and responsibility.

3. Lead by example

As a foster carer, it’s incredibly important that your behaviour influences them in a positive way. For example, if they hear you raising your voice during a disagreement with your partner, it may lead them to believe they are allowed to raise their voice during disagreements with other family members.

Ensuring you behave in a way that you’d want your foster children to behave is important when applying behaviour management techniques. Remember, you’re there to provide security, stability and be an authoritative figure for them to look up to.

4. Praise, praise, praise!

Praise is one of the most powerful behaviour management techniques you can use. So, keep an eye out for praiseworthy behaviour that you can reinforce and ensure you’re receptive to their positive attitude. It’s common for foster children to have low confidence or self-esteem, but with praise, they can gain confidence and learn to express themselves more positively.

How can Capstone help?

At Capstone Foster Care, we understand that it’s in these challenging moments that our foster children need us the most. So, with the help of these positive behaviour management strategies, we strive to ensure all children in our care feel seen, supported and understood.

If you’re thinking of becoming a foster parent or are an existing carer who needs additional support with foster child behaviour management strategies, our helpful team are always here to talk, offering encouragement and answering your question. Express your interest by getting in touch today or finding out more about how to foster a child today.

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