When Michelle first became a foster carer, she was already a mum to her young son and had spent years working in childcare as a nursery nurse. Caring had always been part of who she was. But she knew she had more to give.
“I just loved the idea of being a foster carer,” she says. “I wanted to open our home.”
Starting out as a single carer, Michelle welcomed three girls into her family. Over time, two of those young women have remained with her into adulthood, still very much part of the household. For Michelle, fostering has never just been about providing a placement. It’s about connection.
During those early years of fostering, Michelle met Salah. After two years together, he moved to the UK from Algeria, and they married. That’s when their fostering journey entered a new phase.
Because Michelle had been approved as a single carer, the couple needed to go through the fostering assessment process again, this time as a partnership.
“It was quite difficult,” Michelle explains. “We had to deal with international checks because Salah is from Algeria, so everything took longer. There were more references and background checks. It felt like starting again.”
There were also practical and emotional adjustments. Salah was a qualified nurse in Algeria, but fostering in the UK came with new systems, terminology and expectations. English wasn’t his first language, and he was adapting not only to a new country, but to fostering regulations, training, and family life in a busy household.
But throughout the process, Michelle and Salah never felt alone.
“Capstone were so supportive,” Michelle says. “They were amazing.”
Their Supervising Social Worker walked alongside them at every step. Salah attended Skills to Foster training straight away, immersing himself in learning. When their case went to panel, it was deferred; the panel wanted Salah to gain three months’ hands-on experience in the home before making a final decision.
Rather than seeing this as a setback, Michelle and Salah saw it as an opportunity to grow.
During that period, the support from Capstone was constant. Their social worker remained transparent and reassuring. Questions were answered quickly. Additional guidance was offered where needed. Training opportunities were tailored to Salah’s development.
Three months later, in December, Michelle and Salah were formally approved.
Just one month after that, they were matched with a five-year-old little girl.
‘A’ arrived with complex trauma. At just five years old, she had already experienced five moves and two adoption breakdowns, one lasting just three weeks, the other six.
They knew this may be challenging at first, but Michelle and Salah were committed.
When ‘A’ arrived, the first few weeks seemed calm. Then, as she began to feel safe, the trauma surfaced.
Bedtime could take three and a half hours. There were outbursts, hitting, kicking, and throwing. Car journeys were impossible; she would remove her seatbelt and become highly distressed. Professionals visiting the home triggered fear that she would be moved again.
Instead of reacting to behaviour, Michelle and Salah focused on what sat beneath it.
“For us, it’s never about control,” Michelle explains. “It’s about connection.”
They embraced a therapeutic model of care and accessed the MATTS service, Capstone’s Multi-Agency Therapeutic Support Service, which provides specialist therapeutic support to foster families.
Through MATTS, they received weekly support from an Occupational Therapist who helped them reflect, adjust strategies, and build confidence in their approach. The space to ask, “Are we doing this right?” was invaluable, especially during those early months of doubt.
“The relationship with the therapist is so important,” Michelle says. “She knows ‘A’ really well. She helps us advocate for her, whether that’s for therapy or assessments.”
When ‘A’ was refused access to a neurodiversity pathway despite clear autism traits, their MATTS therapist helped them draft a reconsideration letter, ensuring the right language and evidence were included.
“Everybody steps up,” Michelle says. “With Capstone, you’re not on your own.”
Michelle and Salah took everything slowly. Very slowly.
Instead of forcing ‘A’ into the car, they simply sat inside it together, praising her for keeping her seatbelt on. They drove down the driveway and back. They celebrated tiny wins.
At bedtime, they stayed calm during meltdowns, sitting on the floor and repeating, “We’re here. We’ll keep you safe.”
They used visual calendars to show ‘A’ she would still be with them in the months ahead. They created rituals of connection, such as knocks on the wall at night to reassure her they were close by.
They rephrased everyday demands. Instead of asking, “What do you want for dinner?” which felt overwhelming, Michelle would pretend to be a waitress taking an order.
Instead of instructing, they offered choices.
Through therapeutic parenting, ‘A’ slowly began to change.
Now, bedtime is calm. She puts on her seatbelt. She talks about her “big emotions” and asks for hugs. She checks whether others are okay if voices rise.
“She’ll say, ‘You still love me?’” Michelle shares. “And we tell her, of course. Everyone has big emotions. It’s okay.”
For Michelle and Salah, fostering is a whole family commitment. Their birth children are heard and supported. Adult children who were once fostered by them remain connected. Former placements still call for advice and reassurance.
They know fostering isn’t easy. What has made the difference, they say, is the level of support.
From Supervising Social Workers to therapists and training to advocacy, they feel supported every step of the way.
For Michelle and Salah, Capstone’s therapeutic support hasn’t just supported ‘A’, it has strengthened them as carers.
From fostering as a single mum to navigating approval again as a couple, Michelle and Salah’s journey has been shaped not only by resilience and commitment, but by the strength of the support around them. They speak with genuine gratitude about the guidance, encouragement, and therapeutic input they’ve received, describing it as the foundation that allows them to keep going, even on the hardest days.
For them, fostering with Capstone Foster Care means being part of a team that listens, advocates and stands beside them. And it’s that shared commitment that gives them confidence for the future and the reassurance that no matter what challenges come next, they will never face them alone.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
