My wife, Shelley, and I have always been in helping roles. I've worked with young offenders for many years and Shelley supports adults with learning disabilities. Our jobs had always felt meaningful, but we knew we had more to give.
It was after learning about the devastating impact of radiation poisoning on children in Belarus on the news one day that something really shifted for us. We saw how fragile life can be, especially for children caught up in circumstances beyond their control. That’s when we decided fostering was the next step in our journey.
When we joined Capstone, it was still quite a small organisation. I remember thinking how welcoming and family-oriented it felt. A lot has changed over the past decade, but that close-knit atmosphere is still there and it's a big part of why we're still here today.
One thing that hasn’t changed in all these years is how valuable the support groups have been. When we first started, the groups were smaller and less structured, but they provided something vital - human connection.
Those early days of fostering can be overwhelming. You go in thinking you can save the world, but then reality sets in quickly. That’s when the support groups became our lifeline. Just hearing from others who understood what we were going through made all the difference. You’re reminded you’re not alone.
Even now, Shelley and I still meet regularly with four or five other carers we met through those early groups. We catch up over coffee, share advice, and just support each other. It’s not just about us either—the kids benefit too. They get to socialise with other children who understand their experiences, which is so important.
Why do we still go to the groups, even with all our experience? Because now it’s our turn to give back. We’ve been through a lot and if we can help new carers find their feet, then we’re happy to do that.
The support groups have evolved too. Now they’re more structured, with proper agendas, opportunities for feedback and useful updates. It’s great to see how Capstone has grown while still keeping that sense of community.
And after the challenges of the pandemic, we’re so glad to be back meeting face-to-face again.
Being a foster carer is complex. You never quite know what’s around the corner, and every child brings their own story and set of challenges. But when you see a child thrive, start to trust, start to believe in themselves again, it’s hard to describe just how rewarding that is.
It’s not always easy. There have been tough times, moments when the system felt like it was working against us, but we’ve always held on to why we started this journey.
If you’re thinking about fostering, my advice is simple: stay grounded in your values. Remember your “why.” Use every bit of support that’s available to you. Ask questions. Talk to your Supervising Social Worker. Lean on your support group. You don’t have to do this alone.
You’ll change through fostering. It’s humbling. It stretches you and shapes you in ways you can’t anticipate.
One thing I often talk about is how fostering has impacted our own children. They've become more empathetic, emotionally mature and kind-hearted. It’s changed the way we parent, too. We’ve learned to take a more therapeutic approach in all areas of our family life. And all of us, I believe, are better for it.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
