Growing up I loved watching my mum’s neighbour, who fostered, care for and then eventually adopt a young girl who lived with them. We were friends and I remember listening to her stories when I was a teenager about why she was in foster care. Once I had my own home, I thought why not give a child in need a nice, happy, loving home and help them to feel safe?
We have five birth children and we manage really well. Our children love being part of a fostering family. They were small when we started on our fostering journey, so it’s all they’ve known, and it’s always been important to us that they be very involved. And they really do get involved in everything! Welcoming the new children, going on holiday and planning activities. They have ideas and we always take them on board – they’re part of it. We’re one big happy family! My own children have grown to be really caring people because of fostering.
When it comes to the foster children, we give them love. The care, the home, the atmosphere of a loving family. Then when you see that positive change in them, there’s no feeling like it. It makes me so proud.
When they were little, we were keen to make sure that they shared anything they had with the foster children in our home. Everyone is treated as an equal. One night I checked to see why one of my (older) daughters was still awake at midnight and it was so she would be the first to text one of our previous foster children a happy birthday!
But it’s for us to make the new child feel welcome, we show them our home, our food, our culture. It’s a slow process but slowly, slowly, they start to feel better.
I also find it very important to work with the birth parents in a positive way. I want them to see that their child is being well looked after. This is important to me.
It’s more rewarding than you can ever imagine. All the children we have cared for over the years are still in touch with us and they often come to me when they need advice and support, just like my own children do. We’ve been foster carers since 2010 and have cared for many children during that time. We have taken on all different types of young people over the years. We’ve never had a preference and love each and every child that comes into our care equally.
One boy that came to us when he was 14, stayed with us until he was 21. He was incredibly shy and quiet when he first came. He was a very calm boy and spent a lot of time on his laptop. Over the years he has grown to be a bubbly and confident young man. He went on to marry one of my cousins (my uncle’s daughter) and he now has two beautiful daughters. He still visits me with his girls, and he is a big part of our family.
I know that some people worry about becoming foster carers because of having to say goodbye, but that isn’t always the case. I wanted to share this story as I am so proud of all the children I have cared for, and this goes to show that there isn’t always a sad goodbye. As a foster carer, you build trust over time and give your love and care as you do with your own children. You find that, often, the children you have cared for want to stay in contact.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
