“I was talking to a lady who also had a foster child with her... she had been waiting 18 months for psychological support for her foster child. We have had meetings with a psychotherapist for 1 hour every week via the Capstone MATTS programme from the start and it made us realise just how different things might be without the support available from Capstone.”
We’ve been married now for 10 years. I’ve got two children from a previous marriage, who are now grown up and Mark has never had children of his own. I’ve always been interested in becoming a foster carer and last year Mark and I agreed that our circumstances were in a really good place for fostering. Our builder and his partner who are also foster carers recommended Capstone Foster Care to us and so we took that leap, made an enquiry, and ultimately followed the process to become foster carers.
Our youngest recently won an award from the council which was amazing. Her teacher had put her up for the award and it was for “determination and progress”.
We have two gentle dogs (lab crosses) and this has been wonderful for the girls. One sleeps with our teenage foster child which helps her so much and the other (very willingly) plays dress up with our younger foster child.
Fostering is harder than we thought it would be. As most people probably do, we went into the process quite naïvely, but that’s actually not a bad thing and I think it’s the best way. You cope with the challenges as they happen better than you would imagine.
I can’t emphasis enough about how important the support and training is. Capstone will hold your hand throughout the whole process and that’s just exactly what you need. I don’t think we would have been able to continue with the challenges along the way if it wasn’t for the support and training we’ve received.
We’ve learnt so much about trauma and how it affects children. One of the hardest things was expecting that a foster child might feel some appreciation for example, but we realise now that this shouldn’t be expected at all. They have so much going on inside their heads with what they have been through, they just don’t have the room to see outside of that. A child who has been through trauma can’t give you what YOU need. But you have to understand that it isn’t about you. It’s always about them and you get rewards in other ways.