Thinking of
FOSTERING?
Contact us now

Jo’s weekly blog – Getting Something Back

28th April, 2017

Foster Carers will always tell you how rewarding fostering is.

People who admire Foster Carers will always tell you how rewarding fostering must be.

These people are all correct, but usually, these rewards are reaped way down the road of your fostering journey.

If you think in fostering you will witness daily rewards, you really may not.  It may even be the fact that you find yourself having to steal the smallest of victories from each day, just to keep you assured that things are all moving in the right direction.  For us during one placement, a daily victory was if the child had stayed in school for a full day.  It may have been the case that while he was there his behaviour was absolutely shocking, but if he physically stayed in the building without being excluded or choosing to run off, then we had to take the positive.

Another joy for us was when the child in question offered to help pick up our dog’s poo when we were out on a family dog-walk, having up until that point insisted that “they did nothing for no-one”.  It comes to something when a bag of dog muck is your trophy for the day.

I never said it would be glamourous.

The children in your care will unlikely be grateful to you for what you’re doing and what you’ve sacrificed to do it; certainly not in the early days, anyway.  They don’t know you, and they won’t trust you.  That’s a good thing though, because why should they?  They need to protect themselves.  You’re not their parent, and in their heads they see you as the person to blame for the very fact that they’re not curled up on the sofa with said parent right now.  You’re never going to get a reward from anybody who fires so much anger and upset at you.  There’s time, though.

The biggest skill a Foster Carer will need in order to overcome all of this is to bond with the new addition to their home.  This is easier said than done, because sometimes you may even find that it’s a real struggle to find things to even like about the child in your care.  That sounds horrible, but it’s absolutely true.  It could be weeks or months before you gel with any kind of redeeming feature, but the day you do – that’s a reward in itself.

Keep going.  If your child is alive, clothed, being fed and sleeping in a warm bed every night, you’re doing a fantastic job that one day, you’ll be rewarded for.

 

you may be also interested in

Advice and Guidance

22nd September, 2020

Reading and storytelling with Babies and young Children

About Fostering

22nd September, 2020

Facts about Foster Care

About Fostering

22nd September, 2020

What is Foster Care?

Ways to
GET IN TOUCH

Our team of friendly fostering advisors are on hand to answer any questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is right for you.

Card image cap

Call

You can contact us by phone and speak to our fostering advisors who are available to talk to you about becoming a foster carer.

0800 012 4004

Card image cap

Email

You can contact us by completing our online form and our fostering advisors will respond to your queries within 24 hours.

Email Us
Card image cap

Live Chat

You can chat with us online and you can get the answers to your questions immediately.