How do you Cope when your foster child moves on?

Below is a case study on how one of our carer’s, Julie’s, fostering journey developed into something special:

“B was my first long term placement. There was no honeymoon period with B and it struggled initially with her boundary pushing, but soon learnt not to take it personally and to be firm and “stick to my guns”!! I surprised myself by coping really well with her self-harming when dealing directly with her, but did find it hard to watch her go through that process on such a regular basis for quite some time. It was also quite tough to have her constantly pushing me away whenever she felt I was getting too close to her for the first year, but when she finally decided to trust and accept me the rewards were – and still are – well worth the wait!”

“I couldn’t have done it without my Supervising Social Worker there to support me. She has been absolutely fantastic, and has ‘grounded’ me several times over the past 2 years with B.   Her advice has been spot on, and she has been able to help me take a step back to look at the bigger picture when things have gotten too intense. Capstone’s training programme has been brilliant, and Capstone on call have also been invaluable – especially during the first year. It has been so reassuring to know there is always someone at the end of the phone for help and advice, reassurance that I was doing the right thing or to vent and let off steam! I have never felt alone on this journey, and have had access to a wonder therapist several times 😊”

“The placement did have a really good ending, although in truth it will never end for either of us 😊 , B has just made the natural progression of gaining her independence. She is my eldest and she knows I love her as if she were my own, and it feels fantastic that I am the first person she calls with both exciting news and grumbles or problems.”


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