LE tells us the biggest thing she has learnt so far

The biggest thing I have learnt so far. Love is not enough! Love is most definitely not all you need. There is a common narrative played out when people hear you have a child in placement. “Oh, poor kid. All he needs is someone to love him.” Nope! Is love a powerful force in a child’s life. Absolutely! But they also need structure and swimming lessons. They need a strong spokesperson and educational advocate. They need predictability, empathy, consistency. They need mental health services and playdates with friends. They need someone to pick up the pieces after a visit. Sometimes they will say things that will rock you to the core. Don’t be afraid to name the need. Validate their experiences.

When they cannot see light at the end of their tunnel, they need someone who will sit in the dark alongside them. Sometimes all they need is a nutritious meal, a bedtime story or a trip to the park… Sometimes, things will be very much out of your control. Professionals will make decisions that you do not agree with and hurt your heart. You cannot foster in isolation. It takes a village to raise a child. Remember, you did not cause this broken situation. You are simply needed to heal the hurt.

#fostercarefortnight2018 #findyourtribe #therapeutic parenting #loveisnotenough #validate #empathy #advocacy #senseofhumourrequired

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