Teenage Girl
Hi my name is Emma, I have been in foster care for nearly four years and today I am sharing my story with all of you.

At first I found it really hard being away from my mum and dad, and my social worker at the time kept on telling me it will be okay and that I will live a more happier life without them but all I wanted was to live with my birth parents and for them to be there every day – but as I got older I realised I live a lot happier life with other people and that you can love more people than your original family.

Two and a half years ago I lived with different foster parents and I didn’t like them at all. They were really mean, and my social worker could tell that because I was upset, and I felt like I could not trust anyone anymore. So, they decided to move me to other foster parents, so we packed all of my things and drove all the way up to London. That’s when I met A and L.

As soon as I stepped foot into their house, I immediately felt safe and that I would stay here for ever. Two and a half years later I am still here safe and sound along with my twin brother.

But sometimes everything isn’t a walk in the park, I still struggle with a lot of things; here are a few – manners, keeping my temper and treating people in a respectful manner.

If I was still living with my birth parents and I asked for something and they said no to the thing or toy I wanted I would go in a bad mood and get physical until they gave in, but A and L don’t give in even if I try and push the limits. Once I have calmed down A and L will talk to me about my behaviour and explain the decision they have made. Even if I am disappointed at not getting my own way, I understand they have done this for a reason and not to be cruel. I like the way they do this instead of talking to me when I am angry and making me angrier.

I think about when I have children and hope I wouldn’t give into them and I won’t because the way A and L parent feels right.

I want to stay with A and L until I am 18, after I am 18, I will still come and visit them because they and their family have changed my life forever.

I love them lots and I will love them forever.

By Emma


Before I became a foster carer, I worked as a Church Treasurer. I lived in a three-bedroom house with my wife and our two grown up children and when they moved out we were both left with each other and all this empty space around us.

The house became empty and quiet! It was an awful feeling! We used to have people around and they weren’t any more. It is like losing a part of our life and a big part of our daily job. The caring task was reduced for the need of 2 people only. And some daily routines in the house are just so difficult to amend because we have been doing it for years.

With a life time of experience gained as parents and as childcare worker, we thought we could give other children a chance to have a home and a family as well. That’s when we started to think about becoming foster carers and giving other children a chance to have a stable home.

The assessment is very thorough. They checked every aspect of our personal life just to make sure that the children would be in safe hands.

When we became foster carers, our daily routine changed, and we had to review our priorities and make the children our first priority.

I would say that the first rule in handling the stress, that can sometimes comes the way of a foster carer, is to try to keep quiet and calm when crisis strikes, secondly, be tolerant and thirdly, offer alternative solutions. Children seem to respond this.

Despite the challenges, being a foster carer is very interesting and a rewarding job. You look after children and have the chance to make a difference in their life. Seeing them developing and thriving brings a joyful feeling. And becoming a foster carer has meant that we are now a part of a new network of people, which has been a bonus.


Jahanara and Nural have been foster carers with Capstone for the last 6 years and during that time all their placements have been unaccompanied minors.

Jahanara said:

‘6 years ago, we decided to return to fostering after some encouragement from our children and we have been with Capstone Foster Care ever since. A lot has changed in that time and since joining Capstone we have learnt a lot and the training has been very good. We also have a lovely community of carers here and we are all good friends which means we have great support.

When we joined Capstone, it wasn’t a specific preference, but all our placements have been unaccompanied minors and we currently have 2 in placement with us at the moment. When we got sent our first referral, we said yes, and it just happened from there. It has had its ups and downs and its own challenges, but I would say that it has had a lot less issues that your standard placement may experience.

The main worry with unaccompanied minor placements is that the young person may be missing home, their family and that they might feel alone because they are not used to this country. They are suddenly placed in a new home with new people and who might not understand them.

As a foster carer the biggest responsibility is finding a way of connecting with them. You may follow the same religion, talk the same language, like the same food or have the same hobbies and just need to find the one of these that helps the young person. This is something I was comfortable with as I moved here when I was 12. Although I moved with my family I can understand how it feels being in a strange place and at new school, so it gives me the strength to take these placements as I know what they must be missing, and they can talk to me and know that I understand.

One of the challenges is teaching the young person to do things for themselves and teaching them respect. A lot of unaccompanied minors have been told that when they get here they will be able to ask for what they want, and it will be provided, so you need to help them understand the process whilst being mindful of what they may have been through to get here. They are just children and they don’t understand.

If I was to give advice to anyone who is thinking about placements, then I would say try it and you will probably enjoy it. I really do. You are given the chance to make them into something and you know when they leave that they will appreciate you and what you have done for them. Children are children at the end of the day and if you want to help an child then help any child. It is humanity.’


1 2 3 18